We Need New Names for Fake Meat

What’s in a name? Well when it comes to the vegan world, a whole lot! The names of certain plant-based foods and products matter a great deal, and that is why I am challenging the entire veg community to create inspired new names for the incredible modern-day culinary achievements that we call “Fake Meat”.

 In 1944, Donald Watson created the word “vegan”, because he felt that “vegetarian” did not correctly distinguish between people who ate animal products like milk and eggs and people who eliminated all animal-based foods from their diet. Now seventy years later, the time has again come for new words and definitions. We now need words to distinguish 21^st century plant-based meat alternatives from traditional animal-derived meats, because the current lexicon is wholly inadequate and unfair to the former.


                                                            Gardein "Chicken"

Thanks to the wonders of seitan, tempeh, and tofu, as well as innovative companies like Field Roast, Beyond Meat, and Gardein, we are now able to near-perfectly recreate the taste and texture of many popular meats like ground beef, chicken, pork and certain types of seafood.
But while the quality and sophistication of vegan meats has grown tremendously, the words for them have boringly stayed the same. 

Most of these terms – fake meat, meatless meat, mock meat, faux meat, beefless beef, chickenless chicken, textured vegetable protein, etc. the awkward list goes on –  or intentional misspellings of meat – beeef, chik’n, baykun, etc.- are horribly clunky, confusing and a major turn-off to meat-eaters who might otherwise try out and enjoy these foods. This a huge problem. 

We really shouldn’t keep calling things fake beef, fake chicken, fake bacon etc. because as long as we use words that compare plant-based food to meat, it will always remain under meat’s shadow; that is, meat will always be the dominant concept and substitutes with strange names will always be considered lesser and inferior.

While they emulate meat in taste, texture and function, plant-based meats sorely need their own identity, and the best way to do this is by giving them their own unique names.
What kind of names, you ask? Well, that’s where the challenge comes in! I am asking you to contribute your best ideas for names for:

Seitan 
Tempeh
Plant-based Beef
Plant-based Chicken
Plant-based Bacon and Pork

There are a number of approaches we can take, from borrowing words for these foods from other languages to organically forming our own.  But it is high time to move the vegan language out of the corny, awkward, tongue-twisting territory where it currently resides into a new world of creative terms, definitions and concepts. And it’s about time we gave magical foods like seitan and tempeh their due with more fitting names that better describe their amazingness!  

We have not yet begun to appreciate the power of veggie meat to help turn people on to plant-based protein. If more people replaced at least some animal meat with the plant-based version some of the time, it could go a very long way toward helping reduce the environmental damage and lessening the animal suffering caused by intensive meat production.  

There is untold, incredible world-changing potential in plant-based meat – but it cannot truly progress if it is stuck in the same old-fashioned, struggling language that defined vegetarian and vegan food in the past.

If we can create vegan Big Macs, award-winning cake shops and bakeries without a single egg or stick of butter, and culture real artisan cheese sans a drop of cow milk, then surely we can come up with some more fitting, fun, and catchy names for our favorite meat substitutes. Plant-based meats have come a hugely long way, and it’s not fair to thwart their popularity and success by continuing to label them with such clumsy, horrible names. No more faux/mock/fake chickenless chicken! No more fake/beefless beef! Down with fakin’ bacon!

These cheesy monikers belong in the dusty, embarrassing bins of hippie vegan history. Let’s dispose of them already, and introduce plant-based meat to the 21st century with new, fresh, interesting identities that are more appropriate to a modern evolving world.  

So what’s in a name? Seventy years ago, Donald Watson started a revolution when he coined the word “vegan” and founded the worlds’ first Vegan Society. I believe it is now our turn to once again re-define plant-based words, and who knows? It might just start another revolution. 

Wynwood's KUSH Makes a Seriously Good Burger

         

Are you in need of a truly satisfying veggie burger? Getting a little sick and tired of flipping and frying those strangely pale Boca Burgers on the stove? Do you need more than smashed up carrots, peas, and beans with your burger patty? Well if you're anywhere near Miami with 10 bucks for lunch, consider yourself in luck!

KUSH by LoKal, an offshoot restaurant by the acclaimed burger bar Lokal in Coconut Grove is now open for burger-and-beer business of its own, and having returned from a vegan food-finding mission there, I'm happy to report the official veggie burger is a must-try.

The Black Bean and Mushroom Burger (officially Frank's Black Bean and Mushroom Burger) impresses on all levels -  from the insanely delicious smell it emanated from the plastic carry-out bag, to the shiny, expensive looking to-go box it came in (check out that fancy sticker!), to the logo-branded burger bun, to the amazing mountain of seasoned fries it comes cradled on.

This bunned wonder boasts a ridiculously good ground black bean/mushroom patty creation whose flavor punches way above its beefless weight. Ordered sans cheese and the sour cream, this beautiful burger - and it is beautiful - comes adorned with a rainbow serving of dry coleslaw veggies, tomato, onion, and a slather of bright green homemade guac.

             
But forget about looks - when it comes to  veggie burgers, taste and quality must always trump all. And this burger's flavor is an outstanding win. Slightly smoky, piquant and full-on seasoned and steaky, the mushrooms in the patty lent an excellent texture that ate as firm and chewy as real beef. Note: It's served on egg-based challah bread, which I only realized after eating. If you want a vegan option try and ask for the honey wheat bun.

Enjoying a burger this good you can almost overlook the the french fries - but don't dare make that mistake, because that mountain of expertly salted and seasoned potato wedges will similarly rock your taste buds - a testimony to the tried and true fries made in the master LoKal burger kitchen.

 Verdict: Kush cooks one hell of a veggie burger. If you want an impressive beefless sandwich experience go pluck down 10 bucks at Kush's beer-soaked counter and get your hands on this thing. Bonus: you get some free Wynwood art!

A Very Vegan Birthday

Two weeks ago I was blessed to enjoy a vegan-licious birthday and blog anniversary party at Emily Nolan-Joseph's chic South Beach loft. If you aren't familiar with Emily, she only runs one of the biggest vegan blogs in the world: My Kind of Life. This bright and blissful blog follows her around the world on her modeling travels, as she describes vegan food discoveries and stops to give inspiring talks to women and entrepreneurs about leading a life based on self-love and compassion. But above all, she is a proud vegan and combined her own birthday celebration with the 1 year anniversary of her veg blog.

                       

The festive gathering included generous catering from Choices Cafe, with overflowing platters of hors d'oeuvre-sized servings of their famous and beloved wraps and pizza.



The moderately long guest list made for a cozy and intimate party atmosphere, as Emily's friends and acquaintances chatted and mingled inside her beautiful apartment overlooking Biscayne Bay and Star Island.

The real belle of the ball  was a towering, Alice in Wonderland-esqe all vegan cake courtesy of the omnipotent Bunnie Cakes (Mariana Cortez really can bake anything), plus a coterie of matching cupcakes all adorned with charming edible buttons.

                                    

Before the cake-cutting, Emily stopped to tell a touching story about the secret beginnings of My Kind of Life, where as she sought the perfect name and website for her blog, she unexpectedly discovered important life lessons. Moral of the story - you never know who you might encounter in life nor realize the gifts you accidentally give to others. And it's part of what makes life truly wonderful.
           
In total, this  party/ blogiversary (<-- have we coined a new word?!) was a total vegan blast, and the guests thanked Emily in kind for her generosity. See? Kindness really is a virtue.