We Need New Names for Fake Meat

What’s in a name? Well when it comes to the vegan world, a whole lot! The names of certain plant-based foods and products matter a great deal, and that is why I am challenging the entire veg community to create inspired new names for the incredible modern-day culinary achievements that we call “Fake Meat”.

 In 1944, Donald Watson created the word “vegan”, because he felt that “vegetarian” did not correctly distinguish between people who ate animal products like milk and eggs and people who eliminated all animal-based foods from their diet. Now seventy years later, the time has again come for new words and definitions. We now need words to distinguish 21^st century plant-based meat alternatives from traditional animal-derived meats, because the current lexicon is wholly inadequate and unfair to the former.


                                                            Gardein "Chicken"

Thanks to the wonders of seitan, tempeh, and tofu, as well as innovative companies like Field Roast, Beyond Meat, and Gardein, we are now able to near-perfectly recreate the taste and texture of many popular meats like ground beef, chicken, pork and certain types of seafood.
But while the quality and sophistication of vegan meats has grown tremendously, the words for them have boringly stayed the same. 

Most of these terms – fake meat, meatless meat, mock meat, faux meat, beefless beef, chickenless chicken, textured vegetable protein, etc. the awkward list goes on –  or intentional misspellings of meat – beeef, chik’n, baykun, etc.- are horribly clunky, confusing and a major turn-off to meat-eaters who might otherwise try out and enjoy these foods. This a huge problem. 

We really shouldn’t keep calling things fake beef, fake chicken, fake bacon etc. because as long as we use words that compare plant-based food to meat, it will always remain under meat’s shadow; that is, meat will always be the dominant concept and substitutes with strange names will always be considered lesser and inferior.

While they emulate meat in taste, texture and function, plant-based meats sorely need their own identity, and the best way to do this is by giving them their own unique names.
What kind of names, you ask? Well, that’s where the challenge comes in! I am asking you to contribute your best ideas for names for:

Seitan 
Tempeh
Plant-based Beef
Plant-based Chicken
Plant-based Bacon and Pork

There are a number of approaches we can take, from borrowing words for these foods from other languages to organically forming our own.  But it is high time to move the vegan language out of the corny, awkward, tongue-twisting territory where it currently resides into a new world of creative terms, definitions and concepts. And it’s about time we gave magical foods like seitan and tempeh their due with more fitting names that better describe their amazingness!  

We have not yet begun to appreciate the power of veggie meat to help turn people on to plant-based protein. If more people replaced at least some animal meat with the plant-based version some of the time, it could go a very long way toward helping reduce the environmental damage and lessening the animal suffering caused by intensive meat production.  

There is untold, incredible world-changing potential in plant-based meat – but it cannot truly progress if it is stuck in the same old-fashioned, struggling language that defined vegetarian and vegan food in the past.

If we can create vegan Big Macs, award-winning cake shops and bakeries without a single egg or stick of butter, and culture real artisan cheese sans a drop of cow milk, then surely we can come up with some more fitting, fun, and catchy names for our favorite meat substitutes. Plant-based meats have come a hugely long way, and it’s not fair to thwart their popularity and success by continuing to label them with such clumsy, horrible names. No more faux/mock/fake chickenless chicken! No more fake/beefless beef! Down with fakin’ bacon!

These cheesy monikers belong in the dusty, embarrassing bins of hippie vegan history. Let’s dispose of them already, and introduce plant-based meat to the 21st century with new, fresh, interesting identities that are more appropriate to a modern evolving world.  

So what’s in a name? Seventy years ago, Donald Watson started a revolution when he coined the word “vegan” and founded the worlds’ first Vegan Society. I believe it is now our turn to once again re-define plant-based words, and who knows? It might just start another revolution. 

Wynwood's KUSH Makes a Seriously Good Burger

         

Are you in need of a truly satisfying veggie burger? Getting a little sick and tired of flipping and frying those strangely pale Boca Burgers on the stove? Do you need more than smashed up carrots, peas, and beans with your burger patty? Well if you're anywhere near Miami with 10 bucks for lunch, consider yourself in luck!

KUSH by LoKal, an offshoot restaurant by the acclaimed burger bar Lokal in Coconut Grove is now open for burger-and-beer business of its own, and having returned from a vegan food-finding mission there, I'm happy to report the official veggie burger is a must-try.

The Black Bean and Mushroom Burger (officially Frank's Black Bean and Mushroom Burger) impresses on all levels -  from the insanely delicious smell it emanated from the plastic carry-out bag, to the shiny, expensive looking to-go box it came in (check out that fancy sticker!), to the logo-branded burger bun, to the amazing mountain of seasoned fries it comes cradled on.

This bunned wonder boasts a ridiculously good ground black bean/mushroom patty creation whose flavor punches way above its beefless weight. Ordered sans cheese and the sour cream, this beautiful burger - and it is beautiful - comes adorned with a rainbow serving of dry coleslaw veggies, tomato, onion, and a slather of bright green homemade guac.

             
But forget about looks - when it comes to  veggie burgers, taste and quality must always trump all. And this burger's flavor is an outstanding win. Slightly smoky, piquant and full-on seasoned and steaky, the mushrooms in the patty lent an excellent texture that ate as firm and chewy as real beef. Note: It's served on egg-based challah bread, which I only realized after eating. If you want a vegan option try and ask for the honey wheat bun.

Enjoying a burger this good you can almost overlook the the french fries - but don't dare make that mistake, because that mountain of expertly salted and seasoned potato wedges will similarly rock your taste buds - a testimony to the tried and true fries made in the master LoKal burger kitchen.

 Verdict: Kush cooks one hell of a veggie burger. If you want an impressive beefless sandwich experience go pluck down 10 bucks at Kush's beer-soaked counter and get your hands on this thing. Bonus: you get some free Wynwood art!

A Very Vegan Birthday

Two weeks ago I was blessed to enjoy a vegan-licious birthday and blog anniversary party at Emily Nolan-Joseph's chic South Beach loft. If you aren't familiar with Emily, she only runs one of the biggest vegan blogs in the world: My Kind of Life. This bright and blissful blog follows her around the world on her modeling travels, as she describes vegan food discoveries and stops to give inspiring talks to women and entrepreneurs about leading a life based on self-love and compassion. But above all, she is a proud vegan and combined her own birthday celebration with the 1 year anniversary of her veg blog.

                       

The festive gathering included generous catering from Choices Cafe, with overflowing platters of hors d'oeuvre-sized servings of their famous and beloved wraps and pizza.



The moderately long guest list made for a cozy and intimate party atmosphere, as Emily's friends and acquaintances chatted and mingled inside her beautiful apartment overlooking Biscayne Bay and Star Island.

The real belle of the ball  was a towering, Alice in Wonderland-esqe all vegan cake courtesy of the omnipotent Bunnie Cakes (Mariana Cortez really can bake anything), plus a coterie of matching cupcakes all adorned with charming edible buttons.

                                    

Before the cake-cutting, Emily stopped to tell a touching story about the secret beginnings of My Kind of Life, where as she sought the perfect name and website for her blog, she unexpectedly discovered important life lessons. Moral of the story - you never know who you might encounter in life nor realize the gifts you accidentally give to others. And it's part of what makes life truly wonderful.
           
In total, this  party/ blogiversary (<-- have we coined a new word?!) was a total vegan blast, and the guests thanked Emily in kind for her generosity. See? Kindness really is a virtue.







   

Miami Squeeze - Roadside Juice Bar + Top Falafel!

Let's say you were trying out falafel in Miami for the very first time, and wanted only to try the very best. In this hypothetical contest, you have two options: Maoz Vegetarian, which gets huge taste and flavor points for their zesty, perfectly peppery falafel balls (slung out daily by the thousands factory-line style in their South Beach restaurant), is a strong contender.   But for truly beefy, spicy, divinely crispy and fresh falafel, Miami Squeeze gets the title for top garbanzo bean fryer.

       

This hip roadside juice bar creates stuffed, and I mean stuffed (like packed and filled to every wheaty corner stuffed) falafel pitas that runneth over with those delectable green balls + tomato salad, romaine lettuce and homemade hummus. 

   

Their unique location along West Dixie Highway on the southern edge of Aventura has a pleasant open-air bar vibe, except it's fresh juices and blended smoothies flowing from the tap. There is lemon and herb infused water placed around in pitchers for your complimentary refreshment, and - no stinginess here!- their house made sauces and dressings are served all-you-can-squeeze style in large condiment bottles. 

It's a good thing, because their balsamic and tahini dressings are seriously creamy, delicious creations and one small cup of each is not nearly enough. 

The balsamic vinaigrette is especially recommended - thick,smooth and tangy, it is a perfect complement to the falafel, or with any of the other entrees for that matter. The vegan-friendly menu features dozens of healthy wraps, sandwiches and platters, from veggie burgers to a full-on vegetable platter. Plus their smoothie list looks pretty fantastic - I want to take a whirl on the Blue Marlin Smoothie next time I stop by.

                        

 But the real attraction here is that amazing falafel. If there is better fried mashed chickpea ball in Miami-Dade County, I don't know what it is. And frankly I don't want to know, because I've discovered Miami Squeeze Juice Bar and it has my falafel-loving heart. You could say it's my main squeeze. 

Why I Love Fake Meat

Okay, I know a lot of people go vegan or eat vegan food for their health, and that’s wonderful. I really do admire the health aspects of veganism. But a lot of people also choose to go vegan and eat animal-free foods because they care enough animals and simply don’t want to contribute to the suffering on factory farms. These vegans care less about the health and nutrition aspects of eating vegan, in fact, any health benefits may be purely incidental to them. Their main motivation is reducing animal suffering – not necessarily eating super-healthy, green and leafy plant-based dishes at every single meal for the rest of their lives. Many, if the majority, of these vegans still dream about and crave bacon cheeseburgers, philly steaks, BBQ ribs, fried chicken, sausages, wings, pepperoni, ham, shish kabobs and all the other thousands of popular meat dishes the rest of civilization enjoys.

 The problem is we occupy a strange, nebulous  space – we’re against the killing and suffering of animals for meat, but we’re actually not against meat. Not at all! After thinking on this subject for a while, I realized that I really enjoyed eating meat – I just don't want any animals to die for my meat enjoyment. It sounds strange, but it’s true. Most people identify meat solely as a disembodied food on their plate with no connection to an animal.
 When we sit down to a burger, or a plate of ribs or baon or a chicken fillet, it presents itself as just that – food. We don’t need to and don’t want to think that it used to be part of a living, breathing animal. And the truth is, most people don’t. They just eat and enjoy meat, and push any unpleasant thoughts about where it might have come from out of their minds.

                        

Well, with animal-motivated, ethical vegans, we similarly separate meat “the food” from meat “stuff that came from a suffering slaughtered animal” and simply want to enjoy the first one without worries or guilt. If you think about it, this is not all that strange a concept. Many meat-eaters I know (almost all my sisters for example) will only eat meat if it’s completely dissociated from a living animal. They can only stand to eat meat if it looks like “meat” – ground up beef, or steaks or ribs or fillets or cutlets or strips. They won’t touch anything strange like organ meats, tails, feet, heads or even whole fish. They want the origins of meat to remain murky and out of sight, and when they make the connection between meat and a living animal, it has profound effects.

So meat-loving vegans are not against the consumption of meat or even dairy or eggs for that matter – we’re against the standard cruelty that goes into making these products, not against the end products themselves. It’s kind of a complicated subject that I don’t think people talk enough about. But it badly needs clarification and better understanding in the vegan community, because I see so many internecine fights break out over the “healthiness” or "appropriateness" of consuming meat alternatives. A lot of health-motivated vegans are against it because it tends to be processed and/or fatty and salty, so they demonize and declare it unfit for true vegans to consume. I understand this point of view, but I have to respectfully disagree. And ultimately these intra-vegan arguments are self-destructive, ridiculous and completely unnecessary. 

I hear a lot of people say that fake meats are good for helping new vegans/vegetarians in the“transition” to a meatless diet, but I disagree on that point also. I think fake meats are eaten because that’s what people want to eat – not to help them along their way to 100% green leafy plant-based foods all the time. Whenever I go to Whole Foods, there’s a reason that Boca Burgers, FieldRoast Sausages, and other popular meat alternatives are always low or completely out of stock. Because that’s what they – both vegans and non-vegans – want to eat. Period.

Speaking of Boca Burgers, why are they most popular kind of veggie burger, since like, ever? Because they're the veggie burger that tastes the most like a real backyard BBQ burger! Why was Field Roast made the official veggie sausage of the 2014 Superbowl? Because it tastes good and tastes like real, animal-based meaty sausage! Whether you find that offensive or not, the truth is most people like the taste of meat. The problem remains the inherent violence and cruelty involved in producing meat.
But if we can create meat alternatives that delivery the texture, appearance and (most important) taste of real meat, then we get to have our cake and eat it too. And that’s a win-win for both people and animals, and that’s why I love fake meat and unashamedly consume it and encourage its dissemination and popularization. 

So, I hope the issue of fake meat and why vegans and vegetarians choose to eat meatless meat stands better clarified. It sounds complicated, but it's actually not complicated at all. Vegans and vegetarians like meat, just like almost everyone else. But we want it without cruelty or any moral compunctions, and as you can see, we'll go to great lengths to do that!

 Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post - The Case for a New Vegan Dictionary - where I'll discuss the need to create new names for fake meat, because the words we use now are inadequate and generally suck. 

Thanks for listening! Yours truly, Janay

Enjoying Tea With Strangers

Today marks a week since I had the pleasure of joining a very special tea party at Panther Coffee in Wynwood - Tea with Strangers, that is! Jordan  Magid of the University of Miami hosts this special itinerant event, which gathers a group of 3-5 people at different places for an informal sit-down of tea, coffee, and simple good conversation.
The idea behind the event is to meet new strangers and let your precious guard down to let others know more about you, and reciprocally, become better acquainted with people you here-to-fore knew nothing about. The central idea of every session is to listen (no impatiently waiting-to-talk, no interrupting) while others around you speak, and not worry about the need to sound witty or funny or smart.

As someone who has a bad habit of talking excitedly over others, this approach to pure listening helped a lot - I found it rather therapeutic and calming to not consciously worry about the tempo and time lapse of the conversation. It was good enough just to express myself and then listen to others do the same. There's no pressure- only opinions, beliefs, ideas and a healthy dose of acceptance and understanding.

By the end, you are sure to feel closer to these new strangers/friends, and will likely find yourself warmly hugging someone you barely knew only an hour or two before. Tea with Strangers really works some special social magic, and Mr. Magid's mellow, soothing demeanor certainly adds to the peace-loving mood.

All in all, I give it an A. Go do something different and take a seat at one of these very special "tea parties" - it'll be tea time you won't soon forget. www.teawithstrangers.com/miami

Strangers No More! 

From left: Me, Namir, Francine, Jordan, Isabella, Laura

Want a Free Foot Massage?

     Sitting almost unnoticed under a shady grove of fern and oak trees at Nova Southeastern University you'll find an unexpected novelty: a Reflexology Path. This special path uses an array of variegated stones and pebbles that are supposed to touch and soothe different parts of your body - from your head and neck to your heart to your stomach - through specific pressure points on the bottom of your foot. All you have to do is kick off your shoes and walk, rub,and massage your feet over these textured and molded rocks to experience some delightful massaging and therapeutic stress relief. Technically, the path is only meant for the use by students and faculty at the college, but if you're a visitor walking around the campus there's nor reason you can't stop and partake in this awesome free treat.



Besides, whenever I visit there's nary a soul to be found in the area - it's like the students don't fully appreciate it or notice it's even there. Therefore more people should stop and visit to show it some love and actually use it.
There's a sublime feeling that comes from removing your shoes to walk around barefoot in a quiet garden, especially one as shady, soundless and zen-licious as this one.






As an even nicer touch, the path is punctuated with inspirational quotes about relaxation and mind-body harmony with nature.




It'd be so nice if someone installed a path like this in a large public park in Miami, but I won't hold my breath on that one. In the meantime, if you find yourself broke or could use a good discount on a therapeutic massage, consider a sojourn to Nova Southeastern's campus and take a unique stroll along the Reflexology Path. But if you're not a student, make sure you do it on tiptoes.